I have been really bad here lately. I slacked on work .. drank to much .. and a few other things! But I met someone he said several things to me that bothered me and made me stop an evaluate a few things ... Here what he said to me ....

1) That I am different on the computer or phone then I am in person!  - I think this might be very true actually. None intentional and it bothers me. I think that I am more open on the computer or phone .. I think I get hesitated in person because I am insecure about a lot of things mainly my appearance. For the most part I come off as confident but I am not ... I have sooooo many facial scares and all the things that women dont want to have ... and it makes me a little more self conscious!

2) Don't Make Excuses For My Sister - I do make excuse! I also want people to understand why she is the way she is. plus i think I do it for my self so that I am reminded that I have to love her down falls and all. She is very difficult to deal with at times.

3) I am not ready for a kids --- This one I don't believe to be true at all! But i will say this If you where to see where I am at in my life at the moment and see what I have been doing you would make that assumption!

And to top these things off he made me notice a few other things in my life such as ....

My house ... is trashy and dirty and I have let people tare it up.. I need to get off my ass and get things done.

My work ... have been doing a lot of that lately .. kinda been shreeking a little bit of responsibility there .. did get a new job and am very very excited about.

My life ... this guy has been every where and has done a lot to things in his life.. and I meet a lot of people like that .. then I look at my life and I see nothing .. I mean I have helped people .. a lot of people get on there feet or straight out there lives but look at mine it is a mess and I have not been anywhere in over 4 years and definitely no place big .. haven't even been to California to see my grandparents since I was 12 .. long time .. I want a kids but I also stop and think I haven't really lived I mean I have lots of friends and great memories with them but have I lived!! I mean really lived!! Should I do more before I have kids or do I just clean up my life and get back to the plan.

wow I really need to work on something and get off my lazy ass!!!